Squanch72
Kava Vendor
No more shakey photos or hoaxes, Dr. Meldrum was right all along.
Yesterday as I was heading back to my cave after a few shells I felt a sharp sting and as I pulled the dart out, before I lost consciousness, I saw him. It was Dr. Winpig, profession Squanch hunter, standing there with tranquilizer gun in his arms and a wide Kava smile on his face. The last thing I heard was him saying I got you now, and now all the internet will know, Mwah ha ha, Mwah ha ha...
He poured some ice cold kava on my face to wake me, luckily my mouth was open and not much was wasted. When I grogilly came to, I noticed the light from a laptop he had set up in my cave. While I was passed out, he must of found my kava stash as he filled a coconut shell from my tanoa, handed it to me, and motioned for me to skull it. It was the Lawena! Oh there was no doubt now, it really was Dr. Winpig. Realizing the Squanch myth was all over now and overwhelmed with anxiety thinking, damn, the other Squanches are going to be so pissed that I got so krunk, let me guard down, and got caught. I did the only thing anyone can do in that situation, I motioned for more shells.
A big thanks to my good buddy @Winpig for bringing technology to this old Squanch and for all the hard work he did to create:
www.squanchkava.com
And to all you folks who purchased from me through word of mouth sales before @Kapmcrunk and @HeadHodge also so kindly have me set me up for purchases through the awesome Kava Forums Market Place. You folks sure know how to make a Squanch feel special and not just technology illiterate special.
Bula,
Squanch72
Edit:
I would also like to take the time to announce that I can no longer guarantee my Kava is noble at this time. I had originally received sample test results back of the Fiji Waka I sell, but have not had my last results returned. I was attempting acetone tests on my own but I am not a scientist, nor do I own the proper equipment to do more than an eyeball guess of the results.. Also I am a very, very small scale vendor and don't buy huge amounts of stock. I do buy the same strain of Kava from the same supplier who tells me the Waka and the Lawena are from the same farm strain. But since I am small time, I constantly reorder stock and do not have the monetary resources to pay to have each small restock tested by a lab. I believe in full disclosure and highly respect Kava Forums members and my customers and wish this to be officially be known by all. I will make no mention of testing nor claims of noble kava on squanchkava.com.
Yesterday as I was heading back to my cave after a few shells I felt a sharp sting and as I pulled the dart out, before I lost consciousness, I saw him. It was Dr. Winpig, profession Squanch hunter, standing there with tranquilizer gun in his arms and a wide Kava smile on his face. The last thing I heard was him saying I got you now, and now all the internet will know, Mwah ha ha, Mwah ha ha...
He poured some ice cold kava on my face to wake me, luckily my mouth was open and not much was wasted. When I grogilly came to, I noticed the light from a laptop he had set up in my cave. While I was passed out, he must of found my kava stash as he filled a coconut shell from my tanoa, handed it to me, and motioned for me to skull it. It was the Lawena! Oh there was no doubt now, it really was Dr. Winpig. Realizing the Squanch myth was all over now and overwhelmed with anxiety thinking, damn, the other Squanches are going to be so pissed that I got so krunk, let me guard down, and got caught. I did the only thing anyone can do in that situation, I motioned for more shells.
A big thanks to my good buddy @Winpig for bringing technology to this old Squanch and for all the hard work he did to create:
www.squanchkava.com
And to all you folks who purchased from me through word of mouth sales before @Kapmcrunk and @HeadHodge also so kindly have me set me up for purchases through the awesome Kava Forums Market Place. You folks sure know how to make a Squanch feel special and not just technology illiterate special.
Bula,
Squanch72
Edit:
I would also like to take the time to announce that I can no longer guarantee my Kava is noble at this time. I had originally received sample test results back of the Fiji Waka I sell, but have not had my last results returned. I was attempting acetone tests on my own but I am not a scientist, nor do I own the proper equipment to do more than an eyeball guess of the results.. Also I am a very, very small scale vendor and don't buy huge amounts of stock. I do buy the same strain of Kava from the same supplier who tells me the Waka and the Lawena are from the same farm strain. But since I am small time, I constantly reorder stock and do not have the monetary resources to pay to have each small restock tested by a lab. I believe in full disclosure and highly respect Kava Forums members and my customers and wish this to be officially be known by all. I will make no mention of testing nor claims of noble kava on squanchkava.com.
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